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Understanding Your Relationship with Money: 12/15/2018

True financial flexibility offers choices

In my yoga class, a fellow yogini came up to me and said, “I didn’t know you were the money lady in the Kenwood Press. My wife recognized your picture.” They’ve both taken yoga with me every week for a couple of years.

I said, “It’s a four-year-old head shot. It must be time for a new one.”

He said in jest, “Why not put a yoga photo of yourself and call it Financial Flexibility?” I thought to myself, that’s a great idea! Not the yoga photo, but the conversation about financial flexibility, and what it means.

So I began to ask people what financial flexibility meant to them. Here are their comments.

• Not worrying about how many hours I need to work.

• Knowing I have enough money for retirement.

• Confidence that I have enough money before I purchase something.

• Freedom to give to charity, my kids, and relatives in need.

• Treating friends and family to dinner whenever I want.

• Having no credit card or personal debt.

• Owning my own home and car.

• Not having to work so hard.

• Feeling relaxed and happy instead of worried and anxious about money.

• Having more choices to spend and invest.

Let’s look at the word flexibility. We can all have financial flexibility no matter how much money we have or don’t have. Often it’s how we frame or mentally filter a definition that gives the word a certain meaning. Flexibility describes not only a physical capability but also a willingness to modify or adapt what you’re doing. Financially, how you approach decisions and management of your money determines whether or not you have flexibility.

Know that you always have a choice even when you don’t think so. You may not like the choices available, but when you decide on one, it will move you in a direction that informs your next choice. Recognize that at any point in time, if something isn’t working financially, you can do something different. You need to adapt to the circumstances. When people feel blindsided, they lose flexibility.

The Warrior and Magician money archetypes provide examples that help you stay flexible.

When you step into the Warrior money type, you set goals with discipline to follow a plan of action. There is a willingness to course-correct and modify plans when circumstances change. The Magician money type is pure consciousness; it involves having faith, love, and patience. The Magician feels secure and knows all needs will always be met. They have no regrets. Together, these two money types move with flexibility.

Using yoga as a metaphor, if I can’t touch the floor with my fingers in a forward bend, I’m instructed to bend my knees until I can. At any time, if a pose becomes too difficult, there is always another way to modify so I don’t hurt myself and still achieve a certain range of stretch. Choices are always available.

Modifying the way you manage your financial affairs toward achieving your goal is required to meet changing circumstances. Like yoga, it will take focus and intention.

How will you create happiness and relaxation until your goal is reached? This is most important: you don’t want to live for money. You’ll be much happier if you have patience, daily self-care that brings joy, and trust that all is well, while carrying out your strategy. Having gratitude every day for what IS working in your life is the key. Remember, negative emotions around money produce more negative emotions.

Whatever you can’t resolve on your own may indicate a need for support. If you don’t feel you can afford support, then ask a friend you know is on your side to help you with specific ideas. It’s possible that someone near you has completely different ideas on how to resolve challenges. How flexible are you willing to be to meet your financial goals and intentions?

Happy holidays to you and your family during this beautiful season of lights and giving.

Learn more about your relationship with money: visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you see the results. Or contact me at

To learn more about your relationship with money, visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you will see the results. Or contact me at

Donna Colfer has worked in financial management since 1987. As a Financial Counselor and a Certified Money Coach, she blends her financial expertise with spiritual counseling in her private practice in Sonoma. A Valley resident since 1981, Donna and her husband, Randy, reside in Kenwood.

© 2020 Donna Colfer


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