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Understanding Your Relationship with Money: 09/15/2019

Are you taking the ostrich approach with money?

Do you live under a mountain of unopened mail, bills, and bank statements, either physically or online? Are you afraid of looking at how much you owe, or whether your bank account will cover everything?

Taking the “ostrich approach” and burying your head in the sand is one way the Innocent money type handles money. As children, we all start as innocents and hopefully learn about money from our parents or in school as we get older. Unfortunately, when money know-how isn’t taught, fear results, creating inaction and denial about our finances.

Innocents prefer to be rescued from this seemingly huge responsibility, to have someone else handle it. Their primary fear around money is abandonment. Since Innocents don’t trust their own capabilities, they become very trusting of others whom they believe will do a much better job – a perfect setup to be taken advantage of. Though they appear happy-go-lucky externally, beneath the surface, Innocents can be fearful and anxious. Making decisions around money doesn’t come easily; they become financially dependent on others. This is why there’s fear of abandonment. Because there’s a tendency to repress their feelings and beliefs, they’re often non-confrontational around money issues. All of this leads to feeling powerless and overwhelmed. It’s not unusual that embarrassment, shame, and guilt follow.

Historically, the Innocent archetype has been held by women. Men were the breadwinners and financial decision-makers in most American households before the 1970s. With more equality in the workplace, two-income households, and a high rate of divorce, women are responsible for taking control of their finances in a much more empowered way. Interestingly, as we’ve entered a new age and millennium, and dealing with the past recession and our fast-paced society, I see more men filling this archetype.

How do we heal the challenges this archetype has around money? The answer: take responsibility to educate ourselves and “own” our self-authority. The first step is to ask for help. Think of someone you know who is good with money, either a family member or a friend. Take a class or hire a Money Coach or bookkeeper to show you basic methods. With some simple instruction, you’ll start to claim your own power. Begin questioning others’ motives or behaviors; this will give you experience trusting yourself more. You’ll then learn to find safety in the knowledge of your own capabilities. Allow yourself to experience your independence, one baby step at a time, and your fear of abandonment will dissipate – as well as your innocence!

If you’re married to an Innocent money type and you’re asking him or her to participate more, try not to overwhelm with too many details in the beginning. If you see confusion, don’t just walk away discouraged. Your spouse or partner needs you to show the way with patience, compassion, and without judgment. Amazing results can happen, including greater intimacy in your relationship. Always a plus!

In future articles I’ll continue to explain the eight Money Types and their key healings. Remember: these Money Types aren’t meant to label you. They are not your personality or “who you are.” They simply indicate your behavior around money, and they can change through awareness and action.

Learn more about your relationship with money: visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you see the results. Or contact me at

To learn more about your relationship with money, visit and take the complimentary “Money Type Quiz.” Only you will see the results. Or contact me at

Donna Colfer has worked in financial management since 1987. As a Financial Counselor and a Certified Money Coach, she blends her financial expertise with spiritual counseling in her private practice in Sonoma. A Valley resident since 1981, Donna and her husband, Randy, reside in Kenwood.

© 2020 Donna Colfer


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